Aftermath
by Theodore Hawkwood
Summary: After the events of Facility Kronos, Lance has some doubts about his fitness to be the wielder of the Keyblade. He receives sympathy from an unexpected source...and insanity as well.


Aftermath

Disclaimer: I don't own the XMJ universe. That's Red Witch's intellectual property. I don't own the Incredibles or Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego either.

Summary: After the events of Facility Kronos, Lance has some doubts about his fitness to be the wielder of the Keyblade. He receives sympathy from an unexpected source...

--

Lance went down to the kitchen that morning. Roadblock had suspended training for the day, to let the group recover. No matter where he went, everyone seemed to be talking about the Heartless, Syndrome, the Soviet-Metroville War, or the Omnidroid attack on Bandar Abbas.

He could see Alan Fielder and the other ACME Clandestine Services guy 'Papa Louie' talking. He didn't quite mean to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"I just wonder, could I have done things differently." Fielder said, "Reacted a lot sooner, figured the Russians would invade a lot sooner, maybe gotten Frank out of there in one piece."

"Would've, could've, should've. Learning from what we screw up in previous missions helps succeed in other missions, but don't second guess operations." Papa Louie said, as he sipped at his beer.

"Where'd you find that?" Fielder said, raising an eyebrow, "Cover Girl seems to keep a dry house."

"Stole it from Shipwreck's stash." Papa Louie smiled and handed Fielder a second beer.

"Thanks." Fielder said and sipped his beer. "All things considered it was a successful mission. We got the intelligence we needed and we kept the secret of the C5 system out of Syndrome's hands. Though we lost Frank doing it."

Papa Louie knew it was a good time to let Fielder vent. "Emily's still pretty torn up about it." Fielder replied, "And the rotten thing is Frank nor Emily's families can know why he's dead or how he died. All they're getting is a fairy tale from Clandestine Services and that's it!"

"Have you talked to Emily lately?" Papa Louie replied.

"No." Fielder replied, "I think its for the best. I think she still blames me for Frank."

"That's nonsense." Papa Louie replied, "I've known Emily for years and that's not in her nature

to do that."

"Are you sure, it seems like she's avoiding me." Fielder replied.

"Go talk to her." Papa Louie said, "Find out for yourself."

--

Lance headed into the garden, hoping to find a place to try the meditation tricks Blind Master tried to teach him. He saw Emily was already there. Her eyes were red rimmed from crying, her hair somewhat out of place from just coming out of her bed. _What do I say to that? The woman lost her fiancé to something. No, no pussyfooting around, she lost her fiancé to the Heartless, the same things I'm supposed to help stop, but have NO IDEA HOW TO DO! _Lance's mind screamed.

She was trying to occupy her mind, reading an intelligence report regarding a recent Iranian attack on the APL Tulip, a Singapore based container ship that had a steering casualty and drifted into Iranian waters only to be promptly attacked by three Iranian Boghammar patrol boats. The Tulip had been saved from sinking by the British frigate HMS Northumberland driving the Iranians away. One Iranian small boat had been destroyed, the second heavily damaged and the third fled the scene hurriedly. On the way out HMS Northumberland was shadowed by two Iranian torpedo boats and two more Boghammars with a Mod Kaman missile patrol ship in company.

_Hmm, there was the message that MI-6 found, the one about COBRA's Operation Pinafore, loading captured container vessels with Heartless and Nobodies and send them for the shores of different countries. _Emily thought. _Let's not forget that less than a week before the incident an Omnidroid nearly destroyed the Iranian city of Bandar Abbas. _

_Since the attack on Bandar Abbas the Iranians have been especially aggressive and adversarial of late, and this recent exchange with the Royal Navy Frigate, HMS Northumberland is evidence of that statement..._Emily thought as she read the latest intelligence report. She was writing some notes down in her small notepad when the feelings rushed over her again. She blinked back more tears, remembering the malformed thing Frank had become in the last hours of his life, the horrible image invading her mind.

Alan Fielder headed outside to clear his head when he could her Emily's small sobs, followed by the occasional hiccup.

"Some light reading?" Fielder said, half-smiling. Emily turned to regard him for a moment and Fielder added, "I'm sorry..."

"It's OK." Emily replied, "Did you need something?"

Fielder stopped in his tracks for a moment, "Uhm, yeah, I just wanted to borrow your copy of the G.I. Joe After Action Report on the Tulip Incident."

"You had a copy, didn't you?" Emily asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, but Quick Kick wanted to take a look at it." Fielder replied.

Emily lightly smiled despite herself, "These G.I. Joe guys have weird names, Tunnel Rat, Beach Head, Quick Kick..."

"I know." Fielder replied.

"You didn't come here for that report, did you?" Emily asked.

"Honestly? No." Fielder replied, "I wanted to see how you're holding up...Honestly I'm worried about you."

"I'm OK." Emily replied, "It's just losing Frank and then this world sounds like it's going to hell in a hurry...It's just so overwhelming."

"At least we're not stuck between Soviet and Metroville forces with the Heartless acting up." Fielder replied.

Emily gave him a look. They had been in mortal danger then. Frank had been captured and Alan was treating it like it was some joke!?

"Look, I'm sorry about Frank, and that all of this stress has been piling up for you since then. Why not take some time off?" Fielder replied.

Emily burst into tears again, "I…I can't do that…if I don't keep busy I'll…"

"You'll burn yourself out completely if you don't take a break, take some time, find some peace and quiet…" Fielder began.

"Around here?" Emily asked. As if to prove her point the sound of Pietro screeching and electricity sparking could be heard.

"Yeah. I know you might as well find your peace at the mental institution in Hades." Fielder said.

"Look, Alan," Emily said, "I appreciate the fact that you're looking out for me, but I have all of this under control…."

"If you need anything, you know where to find me." Fielder replied as he wandered off.

Lance watched silently before he left the scene, silently. _I never knew there'd be such a huge toll fighting the Heartless. A huge personal toll. I mean Emily lost her fiancé, the Parrs lost so many friends and co-workers and even relatives to the Soviets…_

Lance headed out to one of the rocky towers his past sleep terraforming had created. He figured he'd imitate Ted and climb up to the top of a large rock, as the Canadian-Israeli was wont to do whenever he wanted to figure anything out.

He climbed to the top of the rocky outcropping staring out at the Pit beneath him. _And how is that relaxing? _Lance thought. _So much responsibility they say I have as the Chosen Wielder of the Keyblade…So many of their lives…can I really do it? _

"Brumby!" Lance shouted.

The glowing orbs and soft essences of a Whitelighter appeared. "Yes?" The Australian Whitelighter replied.

"You're supposed to be my Guardian Whitelighter or whatever, right?" Lance asked.

"That's what they say." Brumby replied.

"Listen, can't you tell this Keyblade thing that I'm not the Chosen One or whatever?" Lance replied.

"I'm afraid not. I'm afraid the Keyblade chooses its own host. You'll know when you're ready." Brumby replied.

"I'm not ready." Lance replied.

"You're more ready than you think." Brumby replied evenly, "I will be there as your Guardian Lance."

"But what if I can't wield the Keyblade? What if I won't know how?" Lance replied.

"Remember that dream you had at Facility Kronos?" Brumby replied.

"The one where you kept appearing and disappearing and giving me vague advice?" Lance said sarcastically.

"The one and only." Brumby replied, "It showed you how to handle the Keyblade, what strengths you have, what your weaknesses are?"

"It said I had the power of the Warrior but I gave up the power of the Guardian?" Lance said.

"No worries, you've got me as a Guardian." Brumby said, and gestured to the Pit, "And you've got your mates to help you sort things out."

"Them? No offense but I know those guys, you don't, most of the Misfits are, well, out of their minds."

"No different than another group of people who helped a Keyblade wielder once in my past. The crew of the Independent Airship Morrowind wasn't the most stable bunch in the world but they did a bang up job." Brumby replied.

"Wait, there are _other_ Keyblade wielders?" Lance asked.

"There have been." Brumby replied.

"Can't one of _them _handle this then?" Lance asked.

"No. The Keyblade must choose someone of _your _world to fight the Heartless." Brumby replied.

"Can't it choose someone else?" Lance asked.

"It chose you, and it knows why and you will understand why when the time comes." Brumby replied.

"Will you knock off the hokey 'Use the Force Lance' bullshit!?" Lance snapped.

"Listen, mate, I'm your Guardian for a reason, to guide you through these tough times." Brumby replied, "Follow your gut reaction…"

"What qualifies you to give me advice on gut instinct and reaction?" Lance replied.

"Because I fought in a war and it kept me alive." Brumby countered.

"Afghanistan? Iraq?" Lance asked.

"Try World War II." Brumby replied, "In another reality…"

"What?" Lance asked.

"I fought in that war against the Heartless and the Japanese." Brumby replied, "I was in 2/2nd Independent Company, fighting a guerilla war against the Japanese and Heartless forces that

occupied Timor. We made trouble for the Japs and Hearties over there as a bunch of fifth columnists (i) before I got sent to help the Morrowind crew out."

"So how did you become a Whitelighter?" Lance asked.

"I didn't survive my universe's version of World War II." Brumby replied, "I was killed in action in some lonely, bug ridden stretch of jungle in the Pacific War."

"So you're giving me advice about staying alive in war, but you didn't survive one?" Lance asked, "This is the most…"

"Listen, wanker, I survived longer than most, giving my life to prevent others from being captured by the Japs in the end." Brumby replied.

"And they sent you to help me?" Lance said.

"Yes." Brumby said.

Lance headed down the cliff, looking to see if he couldn't find Spirit to help sort out his advice, leaving Brumby standing on the mesa.

"Nigel." Brumby said.

Nigel orbed onto the mesa, "Yes old boy, how was dealing with your top charge?"

"I can't get through to the kid." Brumby replied.

"There are things more difficult to manage than charges." Nigel said.

"Such as?" Brumby replied.

"Three mischief causing ghosts for example. In my travels through the worlds I've encountered many a bizarre creature and three of them, with a penchant for mischief have attached themselves to me." Nigel said, "Over the years I've figured out how to control those three and they've given me a rather good offensive punch..."

Nigel handed Brumby a cell phone, "Just push the pound and send buttons and you'll release them..."

"Oh no, you don't mean _them!?" _Brumby began.

"You should be able to handle anything if you can handle them..." Nigel said.

"Meaning Natalie's complaints about three mischievous ghosts playing pranks on her and Gideon have finally traced their way back to you, huh?" Brumby replied.

"Got it in one. But they will be a valued lesson in dealing with difficult charges...cheerio..." Nigel said and vanished.

From the cellphone came three creatures. One of them was a black ball surrounded by purple ghostly matter with eyes and two fanglike teeth.

"Gastly..."

Then a blackish purple round bodied creature with spikes by the face, triangular eyes and mouth with several sharp teeth, and a pair of disembodied hands floating past it appeared.

"Haunter...Haunter..."

And finally a dark bluish black creature with glowing red eyes, a spike covered back, round body and a sinister grin.

"Gengar..."

"Look you guys, Nigel's bestowed you to me now and it's important that..."

"Gaastly..." Gastly said as he, Haunter, and Gengar disappeared to cause mayhem.

"Oh bugger." Brumby groaned.

--

"Tensions in the Middle East have risen since the attack on Bandar Abbas. Iranian patrol boats attacked the Singapore container ship, APL Tulip when she developed steering problems and drifted into Iranian territorial waters. The Iranians claim the Tulip's cargo hold was full of Heartless and that triggered the attack before they were driven off by the _HMS Northumberland_ and other elements of the British Royal Navy." The CNN Newscaster said.

"In other news, Israeli forces exchanged fire with Palestinian militants in the Gaza Strip resulting in fifteen dead Palestinians. One Israeli soldier was killed and two were wounded in the engagement." The CNN Newscaster continued, "This marks the sixth such fight within the last two weeks bringing the death toll to forty Palestinians and nine Israelis. Israeli sources state that

Palestinian home made rockets launched into Israel from the towns of Gaza provoked this latest confrontation."

_Joel Leven, 21, Golani Infantry Brigade. _Ted thought as he read the report, _I remember him when his parents worked with mine on our summer digs. Now he's dead, fighting against the Palestinians. And they suspect COBRA's been arming Palestinian militants and provoking the latest clashes in the Territories. _

"You seem troubled, my friend." Quick Kick said as he headed into the living room, holding a pint of milk.

"Just a tad." Ted replied, "It's just this recent spate of trouble near my home. My buddies in YAMAS and other Israeli units are putting their asses on the line and I'm over here."

"I understand the feeling, that helpless anger." Quick Kick replied.

"My old Gaza team is deployed right now and under a communication blackout." Ted replied.

Quick Kick nodded sagely. Ted switched topics, "So, what brings you to our humble abode?" "Stormshadow thinks its best I train with the Blind Master right now and that I learn to be especially fast and loose yet disciplined in fighting. It's to focus on training Toad, Althea and even the Triplets for the even fiercer battles against the Heartless to come. And besides, every family needs an easy going, good natured older cousin. Just call me Cousin Quick Kick."

"OK Cousin Quick Kick." Ted joked.

"So, maybe you could teach me some Krav Maga? I never got the opportunity to learn anything

about that fighting art." Quick Kick asked.

"Sure." Ted replied, "But I think that ACME fellow, Alan Fielder was looking for you too."

"Oh yeah," Quick Kick said, "I heard he was a student of the Greek fighting art of Pankration."

"Another art you'd never been exposed too?" Ted replied.

"Yes." Quick Kick replied.

Lance wandered by the room as he headed for the phone. "How are you doing Lance?" Ted asked as he headed over to him, whispering, "You seem a little worried."

"My Guardian Whitelighter wasn't much help." Lance replied, "Except to say something about gut instinct, and following my heart."

"You're gonna give Kitty a call?" Ted replied.

"If anything, I want to hear her voice again, to talk to her." Lance replied.

--

"Hello you've reached the voice mail system. Jana Reilly is not available..." Aron Munro angrily closed his mobile phone.

"Don't worry, she's perfectly safe." Jan Shimoda said.

"It's not the same, bru." Aron replied, "I haven't talked to her in almost a month, since we pulled out of San Francisco. She's barely answered the phone and barely been home."

"Hate to be a prick, but you brought that on yourself." Jan replied.

"Let me guess…" Aron replied.

"Women really don't take kindly to deceipt." Jan replied.

"There really is no delicate way to tell someone that you're name isn't really Marcus Culp, but Aron Munro and that you're an operative with ACME's Department of Operations, Clandestine Services Division." Aron replied.

--

"Did anyone hear anything about Tony?" Violet asked.

"Honey, I'm sorry, we didn't hear if he survived, where in Metroville he was when the Russians

launched nuclear missiles at us..." Helen replied.

Violet's eyes were red, from crying, from fear and terror. The news of the Soviet nuclear attack on Metroville had hit hard. Even with ACME's hackers and intelligence experts, the casualty reports were at best incomplete. The Rydinger family nor the Best family had shown up on the casulty reports, but that didn't mean that they weren't dead.

"Hey." Bob said, "We'll know soon enough as to what happened to Tony or Lucius or any of them, but we have to stay strong. If nothing else, to stop that madman, Syndrome from causing any more bloodshed and insanity."

"Bob, we're in Misfit Manor, insanity is non-stop..." Helen quipped.

"OK, insanity of the genocidal variety is what I'm talking about, insanity of the Misfit variety is borderline tolerable and…AAAGGHH KLONDIKE! GIVE ME MY STAMP COLLECTION BACK!!" Mr. Incredible boomed.

"Woo woo woo woo woo!" The Siberian Husky began with noises that sounded suspiciously like laughter.

Violet couldn't help but smile as Bob chased Klondike through the hallways.

"MOUNTAINEER CONTAIN THIS INSANE HOUND YOU CALL A PET! NOW!" Bob shouted.

"Wow, Dad's stress level seems to have shot up since we met the Misfits." Dash quipped.

Violet replied, "Well, I agree with Pietro, you really are a 'Slowpoke' sometimes."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Pietro laughed as he ran by, "SlowpokeSlowpokeSlowpoke!!"

"DIE!" Dash shouted as he chased Pietro around.

"Why does everything among the Misfits have to revolve around dysfunctional insanity?" Bob asked.

"Bob, I don't know." Helen replied.

"This all has to be affecting them, I mean the destruction of our world." Bob replied.

"It's got to, but that's why they act the way they do. It's some kind of coping mechanism..." Helen replied.

"AIEEEEEEE!!" Pietro screaming could be heard from far away, loud and torturous as Trinity had been tormenting him.

--

"Lance!?" Kitty asked, "What are you doing here?"

Kitty had simply gone out to one of the gardens of the Xavier Institute to de-stress from everything that had happened since Facility Kronos and everything else. It was then that she ran into a severely haggard, exhausted looking Lance, with several days beard growth on his face.

"Look, I...I'm so sorry that I had to do it this way, but I need someone to talk to." Lance said, with a ghost of his wry smirk, "I mean, all this responsibility that's been thrust on my shoulders and everything..."

"What do you mean? Lance, you're like speaking Greek here." Kitty replied.

"Well, it's a secret that I've not really wanted to let out, or really spoken of." Lance replied.

"Lance?" Kitty said, concern etching her features, "What is it?"

"You know how I'm the Keyblade wielder, right?" Lance said. Kitty nodded.

"Yeah." Kitty replied.

"Well, I wonder what made the Keyblade think I deserved all this, what made whoever made the thing think I was pure of heart or something? Maybe it's got the wrong guy?" Lance replied.

"Lance, you're a lot of things, but the wrong guy for this you aren't." Kitty replied.

"What makes you say that?" Lance replied.

"Lance, I believe in you. For all your faults, for all of everything you have something in you that you just need to believe in." Kitty said, putting a comforting arm around Lance.

Lance couldn't help but treasure the contact as Kitty wrapped her arms around him in friendly sort of embrace. It lasted a touch longer than a friends embrace and for an instant he was tempted to draw her close, to capture her lips between his own.

_What if she doesn't feel that same way? What if that pushes her away from me, even further than I thought possible. _Lance thought.

Kitty felt a sharp sensation run through her and let out a slight gasp and squeal, "Lance!? Did you just pinch my butt?"

"What!? No!" Lance snapped, offended, "I can't believe you'd even suggest such a thing."

Just then the distinctive sight of an orbing Whitelighter could be absorbed, "Lance, there you are, mate? I just advised the Pit to be wary of three very mischievous ghost like creatures that might be headed your way." Brumby stood before them.

"See, maybe that's who grabbed your…HEY!" Lance said as he turned towards Kitty, "So I can't grab you, but you can grab me?"

"What?" Kitty said, offended.

Just then a blackish purple round bodied creature with spikes by the face, triangular eyes and mouth with several sharp teeth, and a pair of disembodied hands appeared. "Haunter Haunter…"

"Alright you wanker!" Brumby began, waving a cell phone, "Back in mobile mate!"

"Haunt Haunt Haunt Haunt Haunt Haunt Haunt Haunt!" The ghost said as it pinched Kitty's rear again and ran away.

"Get back here you wanker!" Brumby shouted as he chased Haunter through the rose bushes.

Meanwhile Multiple, Iceman, Sunspot, and Cannonball were playing Halo on an Xbox in one of the TV rooms. "Eww, Iceman, did you fart?" Multiple said.

"What?! No!" Iceman protested.

"It seriously reeks dude, and it's coming from near you!" Sunspot added.

"Yuck!" Cannonball added.

"Guys, I swear I didn't pass…" Iceman began.

"Gaaasss…" Gastly said as it appeared among the four boys.

"AUUGGGHHH!!" Came the shout and the mad scramble to get out of the room. They ran off screaming.

"What was that thing?" Cannonball asked as they gasped for breath, standing in the kitchen.

"I dunno, but…" Multiple said.

"AAIIEEEEEEEE!" Iceman screeched like a little girl when he saw Multiple's face was now the face of Gastly.

"What's wrong guys?" Multiple asked, utterly clueless.

"GET AWAY!!" Bobby said and swung a frying pan at Multiple's head. Jamie staggered only to make several clones of Multiple. Gastly disappeared as Tabitha walked into the room.

All Boom Boom saw was Bobby clocking Jamie in the head with a frying pan.

"You bullying creeps! What are you doing picking on Multiple! And you hit him with a frying pan!?" Tabitha screamed.

"OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OOOH!! YOW!!" Bobby screamed as Tabitha jumped on him and started beating the living daylights out of him.

"Tabitha stop!" Cannonball said as he tried to yank Tabitha off her, "There's something weird roaming around here and…"

"Gastly!" Gastly said as it appeared in the middle of the room.

"Kill it! Kill it!" Bobby shouted.

Tabitha lobbed an energy bomb at Gastly who promptly disappeared. The bomb landed at Bobby's feet and exploded, launching him through the nearest wall.

Scott heard more commotion coming from inside the Manor as he was washing his car outside. Initially he didn't think anything of it until a wall exploded.

He headed towards the manor, but as he did so, he noticed his shadow started to elongate and even detach from his body and started to run away from him.

"Hey! Come back here you…" Scott shouted.

Scott's shadow started to reform into the shape of a dark bluish black creature with glowing red eyes, a spike covered back, round body and a sinister grin.

"Gengar, Gengar Gengar Gengar…"

"Wha..." Scott said, aghast.

"Gengar..."

"AAGGGH!!" Scott shouted as Gengar lifted him into the air.

"Put me down! Put me down!" Scott shouted as he twitched.

"Gengar...Gengar...Gengar... (With pleasure)" Gengar said.

"NO! NO! NO! NOT THE SATELLITE DISH! NOT THE SATELLITE DISH!!" Scott screamed as Gengar gave him the mother of all wedgies and hanged him by his boxer's elastic from the tip of the satellite dish's antenna.

Professor Xavier was in his study, contemplating the latest wave of mutant violence, attempting to block out the chaos downstairs when he heard Scott screaming as he was hauled into the air by some invisible force.

_Scott! What's happening? What.. _As Xavier tried to speak telepathically he became mysteriously aware of three very mischievious presences, a lot like that he would detect whenever Shipwreck clones or the coyotes would run amok. All he heard were three words in his head. _Haunter. Gastly. Gengar._

Additionally he detected the same feeling he would feel whenever a Whitelighter or Whitelighter-hybrid was present. It was masked, muted, because Whitelighters were often able to shield themselves from his telepathy, but they had a distinctive signature, one he could detect when Leo or Paige were present. This was a stranger's presence, however, and he seemed very harried and...

Just then Haunter appeared inches from his face. Haunter stuck out it's tongue and made it's eyes get large and googly. "Haunter Haunter..."

"So you're the mysterious presence I detected. Where did you come from?" Xavier asked.

Just then the lyrics to the Men at Work song Down Under could be heard as Haunter produced a boom box from it's mouth, "Do you come from a land Down Under? Where women glow and men plunder...Can't you hear, can't you hear that thunder? You better run, you better take cover?"

Haunter zapped Xavier with a stun gun just then, "Haunt...Haunt...Haunt...Haunt...Haunt..."

Jean Grey ran into the room, with Logan right behind her. Logan was holding Lance by the scruff of the neck. Just then Haunter vanished from sight.

"Jesus, take it easy!? I didn't cause this, my insane Guardian Whitelighter did."

"Your what?" Jean asked.

"That's right, Red, I've got a Whitelighter assigned to me." Lance replied, "Just like Leo."

"Oh great, another goody-two shoes pretty boy..." Wolverine growled.

"Oi! Wanker!" Brumby said as he orbed in, "I resent the insult."

"YOU!" Lance shouted, "Can't you get those three ghosts under control!?"

"Those three rejects from a Japanese cartoon series are yours..." Wolverine said, claws unsheathing.

"Yes." Brumby replied.

"Care to test if Whitelighters can heal themselves?" Wolverine replied.

"Whoa! Whoa! Mate! Hold on!" Brumby shouted, "Let me explain!"

"Make it fast..." Wolverine replied.

"Listen. These three ghosts were just dumped onto my lap today...unexpectedly." Brumby held up the special cellphone that Nigel gave him, "This phone is where I can contain them, but only I really have even the slightest iota of control and..."

"Gengar! Gengar! Gengar!" The sound of a motorcycle warming up could be heard.

"Those maniacs had better not have gotten my..." Wolverine began.

Just then from the upstairs window they could see Gengar on Wolverine's motorcycle. And then another engine starting could be heard. Alongside the sound of Scott screaming could be heard, "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"

Speeding around the driveway, doing doughnuts in the front lawn, was Scott's car with Haunter steering and Gastly pushing the gas pedal.

"GIVE ME BACK MY CAR YOU LUNATICS!!" Scott screamed from the satellite dish.

Just then Gastly appeared inches from his face. "Gastly..."

Gastly took Scott off the roof and put him in the passenger seat of his car, buckling him into the seatbelt and then ducttaping him to the seat.

"Gastly..." Gastly said as it returned to the gas pedal and brakes.

"Haunter Haunter..."

VROOM! "Gengar! Gengar! Gengar!" Gengar said as it jumped over the fountain in the front, clearing the top of Scott's car by inches and driving Cyclops' heartrate up several hundred beats.

"NO! NO! NO!!" Scott screamed as Haunter fishtailed the car around.

"Haunter!" Haunter said.

"Gaaas." Gastly said as it shoved the accelerator all the way to the floorboards.

"AAAIIIEEEE!" Cyclops screamed as Gengar turned the motorcycle around and raced right at them.

"Haunter..." Haunter said and turned the car.

"Gaas..." Gastly said and smashed down on the brakes, causing Scott to whiplash.

"Brumby, if those ghosts do any damage to my motorcycle I will kill you." Wolverine said.

"HELLPP!!" Scott screamed as Haunter flung his car into a hairpin turn and hurtled it straight at Gengar.

"Gengar!!" Gengar said and turned to face them head on.

Wolverine and Scott's hearts were at near seizure level before Haunter steered the car one way and Gengar steered the motorcycle in the other way.

Unfortunately Haunter steered the car right into the wall and Gengar steered the motorcycle directly into the angel statue in the front lawn.

"Urk..." Scott said as he stood, up, shaken from the wreckage as Haunter, Gastly and Gengar vanished.

"Wanker." Brumby said as he orbed away.

--

Sometime later when all the brouhaha had subsided Spyder asked Lance, "So where do you think Haunter, Gastly and Gengar went..."

Just then the news report on the kitchen mini-TV, which Cover Girl insist be kept on the news channels, came in, "In other news today, Senator Kelly was found in his underwear hanging by his boxer shorts from a fifty foot flag pole..."

"GET ME DOWN! GET ME DOWN! OW!" Kelly shouted as the Washington DC Fire Department took him down.

"Authorities are baffled as to how the New York senator managed to hoist himself up the flagpole. The senator's explanation baffled rescuers and he is being taken to Washington DC's most prominent psychiatric facility for evaluation."

"I SWEAR! THREE INSANE GHOST REJECTS FROM A JAPANESE CARTOON SEREIS PUT ME UP HERE!" Kelly screamed, at open air, "I'LL GET YOU HAUNTER, GASTLY, AND GENGAR! I'LL CATCH YOU ALL IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!"

--

END

(i) In my Charmed fanfic the 13 Ghosts of Prue Halliwell, the character Brumby fought as part of an Australian guerilla warfare unit against the Japanese and Heartless. Fifth columnists means saboteurs and guerilla fighters.


End file.
